It's been three weeks since Sara passed away. Each day that goes by, the pain is the same, I think He just carries a little more of it. Someone said to me, "You will never get over something like that, you just learn how to deal with it."
It seems so wrong that she is gone. When I have a moment to stop and think, I picture her Mom and Dad, her husband, her sister and her children in the places we have been together, trying to go on. I cannot imagine their pain. Their tremendous pain is matched with an insurmountable amount of strength. I have seen it.
I love these words:
Nobody will protect you from your suffering
You can't cry it away
or eat it away
or starve it away
or punch it away
or even therapy it away
It's just there,
and you have to survive it.
You have to endure it.
You have to live through it
and love it
and move on
and be better for it
and run as far as you can in the direction of your
best and happiest dreams
across the bridge that was built by your own desire
I have learned that death is a part of life. Tomorrow is not promised. Death waits on no one. We do not know the time or place that we may be called home. Sara has taught me many things both with her life and with her passing. I have seen hearts softened, I have seen perspectives changed for the better. Grief is a real emotion that feels like a tremendous weight of emptiness. It can consume us if we aren't careful. Everyone must grieve in their own way, moving through the different stages at their own pace.
I am so grateful for my testimony in Jesus Christ, that I know I will see Sara again and that she is in a peaceful place forever. As I continue on this raw journey that is sometimes so painful, all I can do is let Him heal me, reach out to those who hurt and try to see the miracles that are here in front of us.
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